The black carrie bradshaw
Justice for Floyd and Social (Media) Distancing
If you’re a non-black reader, kindly skip to the next section of this blog titled Dear White (and Non-Black) People.
Dear Black Friends,
The last few days have felt like running we’re running a marathon in molasses: exhausting, strenuous, and seemingly getting us nowhere. It feels like we’ve been transported back to 2014, when the unjust deaths of Trayvon Martin and Eric Garner were at the forefronts of our minds and on the tips of our tongues. Every year since then name after name after Black name has been added to the long list of Our People murdered at the hands of racists in this country. Somehow it still feels new and numbing every time. But this is nothing new; like Will Smith said, “Racism isn’t getting worse, it’s just getting filmed.”
I’ve found my self being enveloped and swallowed whole by the myriad of posts, tweets, messages, videos, news blasts, and conversations, on the topic of the fragility of my Black life and the lives of all my brothers, sisters, and non-binary black friends. Simply put, it’s too much. So, to all my black readers, this is blog post for you so you can take a break and a breather. Existing while black has always been arduous but we can’t stop taking care of our minds and bodies.
It’s okay to not be okay, to be angry, to feel betrayed, to feel forsaken, to be confused, or to not feel at all and be numb. Everything you feel is valid. It’s also okay to disconnect, to lay down the burden of blackness that we’ve bore for years and years, to not be up in arms at all times — especially in regards to social media. The killing of black people is not new to our country, what’s new is the thousands of ways we can share these injustices. In these times social media can do as much harm to our minds as it does good in sharing the racist brutalities to our community. For example, you might not be in the space to watch — in real time — our brother George Floyd be murdered by police officers, but it was shared on your timeline and now you can’t unsee it. You may not want to know what your non-black friends are doing and enjoying while you endure such heavy matters, but there they are, in the park, drinking a beer with no face mask on, and now you’re upset. We’re allowed to distance ourselves in order to protect our sanity.
These are things you can do to protect your mental:
Donate to the cause, there are so many different organizations that can use our help and any funds we have to spare. Here are some.
Create signs, graphics, art, and messages that we can continue to use to spread the word to people that need to understand its magnitude.
Share the facts and the news that people need to hear to continue to protest, rally, and exist safely.
Write your officials and let them know that things need to change. This isn’t just a Black problem, it’s a humanity problem and we have to remind them of that incessantly.
Take a Break: In order to continue to fight for our rights as human beings we have to be healthy mentally and physically. Here are some ways to disconnect while Black:
Meditate - Take deep breaths and refocus your energy on the things that matter most to you, the things you’re grateful for. Inhale peace and faith, exhale anxiety and anger.
Talk to someone - Allow yourself to be the center of attention as you talk through what’s on your mind. Sites like Ayana Therapy help to match people of color with the best therapist for them even in this virtual space.
Focus on uplifting material - these are two of the blog posts I’ve centered around inspiring and loving oneself, find out if they resonate with you: Waiting to Exhale, 6 Poems About Self-Love You Didn’t Know You Needed.
Don’t stop posting and reposting joy - They’ve always tried to steal our joy and a lot of our resilience lies in the fact that we won’t let them. Don’t stop uplifting our community with your happiness, inspiration, kind words, and love, these are the times when we need it the most.
Dear Black friend, I see you, I hear you, and I feel you. I’m sending you love, light, warmth and solidarity.
Dear White (and Non-Black) People,
While I could never be empathetic to your confusion and current disposition in society, I do have some advice on how to navigate your standing as a non-black person in light of these injustices. I’ve compiled advice based on the questions, posts, comments, or lack thereof, that I’ve seen from my non-black mutuals.
Question: What should should I do?
Answer: Your research. Everyday there a various petitions you can sign, campaigns you can donate to, and officials you can write to indicate your disgust with the current system and your passion for change.
Question: If I post will people think I’m just doing it because of the hype?
Answer: Possibly. But you weren’t worried about that when you were posting Travis Scott lyrics last week. The benefit of you sharing these messages not condoning prejudice, racism, and injustice is the reach you’ll have to other non-black people. Supporting black culture is more than just buying tickets to a Beyoncé concert. However, it’s not about what you post on social media, it’s about the times you call out racist friends or family members in real life.
Here are some books you can read to equip you for those conversations:
me and white supremacy
Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria
Question: Should I reach out to my black friends?
Answer: Yes. Speaking for myself, but I’ve appreciated the friends that have reached out to me to just check in on how I’m doing. Acknowledging that they know that existing while Black is a victory everyday lets me know that they care. If you’re going to reach out don’t do it to solicit a response and know that you very well might not get one, but it’s still — likely — appreciated. Imagine if George Floyd looked like your brother, father, uncle, cousin, how would you feel? This is a traumatic time for your black friends, reach out.
Question: What if I don’t agree with the everything going on (read: rioting and looting)?
Answer: Keep it to yourself. This is not the time for your voice to be amplified, it’s a time for you to amplify the voices of Black people.
Question: If Black Lives Matter shouldn’t all lives matter?
Answer: All lives do matter, but all lives aren’t valued equally.
As always thank you for the honor of your time. SUBSCRIBE down below (at the very bottom of the page) and let’s stay in touch!
Yours Truly and Truly Me,
Maya G, #BlackLivesMatter